I Think Therefore I am...

I know, I know, it has been quite awhile since I have last posted anything on my blog! But, in my defense I have been quite busy with, well you know... Creating a person! Excuses aside, I am back and ready to post! So what's new? On our last ultrasound Mitch and I found out that we are having a baby boy! We are very excited and I couldn't help but post this latest picture of our little guy in the "thinking man" pose!

Which got me to thinking about the amazing feats that this baby goes through on a daily basis! Even in the womb my baby has already started to reach milestones! I mean isn't that what life is all about? Striving to reach major and minor milestones... From the day you are born you are working toward achieving specific goals in life. A baby reaches several of these milestones in their very first year! From day one they are working towards such milestones as eating solid foods, to sitting up, to crawling and then eventually walking and talking!

But just recently I realized that it starts even before they are born! I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out--I guess I just never really thought about it! But now that this is my kid--I have to say that I am quite proud of my boy! I am just now reaching 26 weeks and according to Web MD and What to Expect when you are Expecting, he already weighs almost 2 pounds. He can now hear us when we talk or make loud noises, he can taste what I am eating, his eyes are beginning to open, and his little lungs are developing capillaries that will help him take his first breath.

He may not be walking yet, but everyday he is taking small steps in his development that will help prepare him for life. And I can't help but notice that he has already perfected being cute! Just take a look at the picture above... Although, I am somewhat worried about that thinking man pose, I think he has already started plotting, in which case, Mitch and I are in some serious trouble!

A New Development!

Our Baby







Pudgy

So I just wanted to share the news that Mitch and I are expecting a baby in April! We are very excited and very overwhelmed at all of the new changes that are happening within our lives! As you can tell from my last post about camping and campfires, our lives have changed dramatically! Just recently we went from talking about our next camping destination, to our next doctor's visit! Now instead of browsing for a new tent, we are looking at strollers and cribs! And we couldn't be more happy! This has already changed our lives in ways that I can't even begin to describe!

Nothing in life could have prepared me for the mad dash to the bathroom, when experiencing a bout of morning sickness (morning sickness that lasts all day, mind you!) to the weird and inexplicable cravings at odd times of the day! I have experienced everything from eating salad at 7am or grapes at 3am, to driving erratically around Billerica and Wilmington in search of a chocolate milkshake!

But let me tell you, this was all worth it when we got the chance to see our little baby on the ultrasound! It is one of the best things we could have ever seen in our lives! We got to see our baby waving to us and sucking his or her little thumb! And it was so cool to see it's little heart beating!

This is only the beginning, I know! I am now in week 12 and hopefully (fingers crossed!) my morning sickness is starting to subside! During our 18 week ultrasound we will get to find out the gender of our baby! And let's not forget about the inevitable weight gain! I have already starting eating- like I am eating for two! I am so going to be fat like pudgy!! So on that note, I am now going to the kitchen in search of yet another snack! But I promise in my future posts, to keep you all posted!

The Campfire Effect!

Photo by: Mitch Collins

One of my favorite things to do, especially when I need to get away from life and it's inescapable roadblocks, is to go out to a campground and have a campfire! There is just something about a campfire that whenever I am feeling slightly off kilter, it always puts me back to center! One of my favorite places to go camping is the Minuteman Campground in Littleton, Ma. I have always loved this campground! The campground itself is set far enough back from the road that the traffic from 110 is a distant memory! But, still within walking distance to a Dunkin Donuts (a very important distinction!) And if you are so inclined, it is within perfect stumbling distance to a sports bar! Or I should say, the sports bar is within stumbling distance back to your tent or cabin! That is another reason why I like this place! They have cabins! Not that I don't like tent camping! I actually love it! But cabins are the perfect remedy if you are just trying to get away for one night! Besides, whenever Mitch and I go camping, inevitably it rains! So it is nice to have a reprieve from tent camping once in a while!

The cabins are really nice! They have electricity, heat and air conditioning! No bathrooms though! The smaller ones, are capable of sleeping about four people comfortably! They cost about the same as an average hotel room for the night, but you get the added bonus of being able to have a campfire! Have I mentioned that I love campfires? A campfire just allows me to think! If I have specific problem that I am trying to mull over, or if I am trying to make a decision about something, a campfire is an excellent tool! It provides the perfect setting for open discussions, or quiet reflection! Not to mention great food! There is nothing better than hot dogs or hamburgers cooked over a campfire! And let's not forget S'mores! How can you not love life when you are in the midst of consuming S'mores?

Being around a campfire and a campground is just one of the best things in life! It always makes me feel better! I love being surrounded by the sounds of nature, the smell of wood burning from your campfire as well as from other campfires in the campground! I love sharing the laughter and camraderie along with the heartfelt and philosophical conversations between family and friends! What can I say? I'm a happy camper!

The Essentials of Bird Watching

Photos By: Mitch Collins

Mitch and I have recently gotten into birding! We have always been outdoor enthusiasts, enjoying such activities as camping, hiking and kayaking! What can I say? It's in our nature! But this past year since we have received our new camera, we have had a ton of fun going out and taking pictures of various nature scenes and wildlife, but birds seem to be our favorite! While we were living in Florida, we had a variety of birds living in our very on own backyard! We have gotten some great pictures of some Barred Owls, Osprey, Red Shouldered Hawks and those rare tropical birds, known as Cardinals! But I must warn you, birding is serious business and you must be prepared! We are still very much entry level birders and are still learning as we go! Here are a few tips that we have learned along the way!

The most important thing to remember while you are out birding is to make sure you have all of your equipment! There have been many times where we have set out on a birding adventure and have forgotten one piece of equipment or another i.e, the camera or back up batteries or lunch! Binoculars are very important to have as well! You may not be able to see the reason now, but trust me! At some point in the distance you will understand! And just as a point of reference, I suggest you get a bird book! I have heard that you are not real birders, unless you have one! True story! Anyway, when birding, it is also essential to have a hat! Mitch and I are partial to the brand Tilley! I love these hats they are so cool! Oh right! They are also really durable and stuff! But the best part of this experience, my most prized possession, is my vest! I love it! You really don't need a vest to go out bird watching, but it kind of makes me feel like the Crocodile Hunter and I really wanted one!

So there it is! The essentials of bird watching! Everything you need to fully enjoy the bird watching experience! Well, almost everything! I suppose some birds would be helpful too!

Relocating Can be a Moving Experience...

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and sorry I could not travel both..." For it has been almost two years since Mitch and I packed up our car and chose the road that would lead us to Daytona Beach, Florida. A road that was designed specifically to achieve an education, but lacked the forethought of a contingency plan, such as having a job or even a place to live. I think in the beginning it was the idea of the "open road" that was appealing! Lending an opportunity for exploration, a chance for adventure... To choose a path that was not yet taken (maybe at the time we were reading too much Frost, I don't know!) but looking back the only thing I can remember with certain clarity is the overwhelming fear of it all!

I think my biggest fear in this looming scenario, was not having a place to live! I was terrified that our new address was going to be The Blue Cobalt on Daytona Beach, Mile Marker 15, C/O Life Guard Station 6 or something like that! A fear that was compounded by the fact that the Weather Channel kept forecasting hurricanes for Florida. A fear that was further compounded once we arrived in Daytona Beach and were checking into the Suburban Extended Stay! I distinctly remember wincing as the gentleman handed us the key and Mitch looking at me and saying "Don't worry! It's only temporary!" And indeed it was only temporary! For we were able to secure an apartment and were in residence the very next day!

Shortly thereafter I was able to find a really good job and Mitch was able to complete his school and gain some experience in his field! So the question everyone keeps asking since we have gotten home is "Was it all worth it?" I feel the only way to answer this question is with a resounding yes! Because even though this journey didn't turn out to be everything we had hoped for, it also didn't turn out to be everything that we had feared!

We were able to find a place to live and a job that I really liked! I had an opportunity to experience something new and work with some really wonderful people! We had the chance to live in a really cool place and see and experience things like shuttle launches and getting up close and personal with alligators, things we would not have done otherwise! We were able to spend some time with my wonderful sister, Holly and her really great family, whom I am going to miss so much! We shared some really great holidays with them and had so much fun during our various family get togethers! I can't wait till we can visit with them again!

The other question that keeps hovering is "If you had the opportunity, would you do it all over again?" I think given the chance I would and for the exact same reasons that I listed above. I think knowing what we know now, there are some things we would do differently, maybe, who knows? We went down to Florida, so that Mitch could go to school and get an education, but I think we both received an education in the process! We learned a lot about life and ourselves along the way! We learned that there are choices you have to make and consequences with each direction you choose to take. The biggest of these consequences, we learned, was that we missed home. We will always remember Florida, but we are also quite happy to be home, so for now, "I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

Out for Launch!

Photos by Mitch Collins


Since we have been living in Central Florida I feel we have made quite the discovery! Because of our close proximity to Cape Canaveral, we have had ample opportunity to view several of the shuttle launches, and I can assure you, NASA puts on a really great show! And yesterday, was no exception! Like the shuttle program, our time here in Florida is limited, so we decided to take advantage of our situation and head towards Titusville to see the shuttle Atlantis make her final launch. We packed a picnic lunch and ventured out to one of the optimal viewing sites, but that plan was quickly aborted once we saw how many people were there!! Mitch and I are not what you would call crowd people, so we decided it was time to come up with a new plan. Plan B.

Plan B primarily consisted of getting as far away from Titusville and all of the people as quickly as possible! Once we were able to do that--we could move on to plan C.

Plan C was to drive back North and then head east, at first we were just going to head back to Ponce Inlet, our familiar, but trustworthy vantage point. But as we were driving we thought perhaps we might find a decent spot to see the shuttle on or near New Smyrna Beach. Once in New Smyrna, we came across a familiar restaurant called JB's Fish Camp and remembered someone telling us that it was a good place to see the shuttle. So we stopped in and had a quick lunch before heading out to the docks behind the restaurant.

JB's was the perfect location, because it was not very crowded, it offered an intimate setting right on the river, where people could kayak on the water or just relax on the dock while waiting for launch time. We were very amused by the pod of dolphins playing nearby and Mitch was able to get several pictures of them rolling around in the surf.

As it got closer to the countdown you could feel the anticipation, with everyone now on the docks, gazing south in hopes for that first glimpse of the shuttle as it cleared the tree line. The launch itself is very quick, a fiery plume hurtling skyward, following it's scheduled trajectory. Then with a final separation of the booster rockets, it disappears into another realm, far beyond the reach of common man, leaving behind a cloud of vapours in it's wake.

As Mitch and I watched the contrail, we thought once again, how this is one of those experiences, that no matter how many times you see it--it does not disappoint! And despite our earlier troubles with locating the perfect viewing site, I was quite happy that we made the endeavor!

A Tornadic Twist to a Dreary Dream

I have been having recurring dreams about tornadoes for the better part of twelve years now. Though not in the sense that I dream the exact dream over and over, it is more like a recurring theme. There is always a tornado and I always seem to be running away from it.

So as long as we are discussing recurring themes, I thought I might expand on the premise from my last post (my inane idiosyncrasies) and allow you to delve into the depths of my psyche for another issue at hand. Scary, I know! I came up with the idea for this blog topic the other day--after waking up from yet another tornado dream. Now I don’t have these dreams every night, just every once in a while and thought perhaps it might be time to find out the exact nature as to why I keep having these cyclonic nightmares. Because seriously, it’s just weird!

Now for some reason, I am equally terrified and intrigued by tornadoes. I really like those shows on the Weather Channel where people chase storms and video tape tornadoes. It is almost like I get sucked into the vortex of the drama being played out on the television, watching with growing anticipation at the panic that is likely to ensue. But at the same time I am hiding under the protective cover of my blanket. I am extremely interested in the science behind these storms and I could probably give you a whirlwind of tornadic jargon and even identify a wall cloud or two. I even think sometimes that I would like to see a tornado, though not really, but kind of, just not quite! That last sentence alone should be reason enough to consider therapy as a viable option. But anyway, my first step in this investigative process is to find out what a tornado might signify.

After visiting several sites online about dreams and tornadoes, I’ve realized that I don’t really have the knowledge to say whether one site is better than the other. I figure I might as well go with the consensus. So, here it is… A tornado in a dream can indicate anything from fear of experiencing a profound loss, or an abrupt life altering change, to problems in a relationship due to extreme emotional outbursts. Okay! I’m going to go with the former rather than the latter on this one.

The former makes sense in that for me, these dreams started twelve years ago, shortly after my father unexpectedly passed away. This would be fear of an extreme loss, but twelve years seems like a long time to continue having these dreams. It could be due to fear of change. I’m not a big fan. And it would make sense as to why I have been having these dreams lately, because we are moving in the next month. I have been worried about having to change jobs, or worse, not having a job.

At least I can take some solace in the fact that I am not alone in this. After reading countless accounts of people's dreams involving tornadoes and what they suggest in relation to their own lives, I feel that these dreams are not a big deal. It is just the way my subconscious deals with external conflicts, that of which are beyond my control. It is a coping mechanism, allowing my mind to process my fears in a more natural manner. But I’m not a professional, this is really just conjecture. All I know is that there are a lot of people that dream about tornadoes and that makes me feel a lot better! I am not really sure if I will ever stop dreaming about tornadoes, this is a situation that I am not quite sure how to rectify. One can only hope that I will someday be able to conquer my fears on loss and change, but after twelve years I am not very optimistic. As the saying goes, this will likely happen… “Only in my dreams!”

My Vitamins are Going to Kill Me

I started taking a women’s one a day multivitamin in an effort to promote good health and well being. I am getting older now (I won’t tell you how old), but I figured preventative maintenance can go a long way. Like an automobile, it is a whole lot easier to fix one problem before it results into many. I chose a multivitamin because I thought it would be easier to take one pill rather than several and this particular vitamin had what I needed--along with a few others that I thought would fit nicely into that preventative maintenance category. When I brought the package home, I dutifully read the directions, i.e. Take one tablet daily with food. As I opened the bottle and peered into the container--I just about had a heart attack when I saw how big these pills were. Now, I’m not one for taking pills, any pills, I wouldn't call it a phobia, but let’s just say--if I have to, the smaller, the better! But these pills are in a word-- gargantuan! But only because I really like that word. If I only had one word to choose for it’s description that would be it. But because I am the writer here--I choose to use more words for the depiction of these beastly tablets.

So this is where my predicament unfolds… I knew I needed to take these, I'm not really sure that the term "horse pill" would do it justice. I feel death capsule might more aptly describe this particular multipurpose supplement, but are they really worth my life? I can see the headlines now… “Death by Vitamins!” I like irony, but not as the main topic for my funeral. My first thought was to see if I could split this baby in half. Once in two, I felt better knowing that I had reduced my choking hazard significantly. I popped the half into my mouth and took a drink and swallowed-- well, almost! The half went down--eventually! It was definitely not easy going and I could still feel the offending object lodged in my esophagus, creating a most uncomfortable sensation. A sensation that was not likely to go away anytime soon-- no matter how much water I hastily consumed! Needless to say, the other half wound up not in my body, but in the trash.

The next day, determined to nip this issue in the bud, I chose a different approach. Instead of cutting the pill in half--I cut it into quarters--thinking the smaller pieces might go down just a little bit easier. Let’s just say--the plan was flawed from the beginning, in that I seriously neglected to take into account that the jagged edges would not be any easier to swallow than the bigger halves.

It was on day three that I seriously began to think that these vitamins were going to kill me. Not just because of the issue in swallowing them, but because there was also a severe level of anxiety that went along with this procedure. Making it quite the morning ritual, trying to psych myself up for inevitable... But I was still steadfast in my mission--after all, I am stubborn, I want to be healthy an by god I am going to do it. Besides, I didn't really want to live the rest of my life afraid of these pills, albeit a long life (because I stopped taking the deathly vitamins), but by now it had become the principle! These vitamins are not going to kick my ass!! So, I drove on unwavering in my belief that this was the right decision and that I was going to win by any means necessary. I tried several scenarios, cutting them in half and taking them with tea or coffee, hoping the hot liquid would less likely make my throat close. Not so much! I tried the quarter method again--with the hot liquids and both were the same. Orange juice seems to be the best method, making the pill go down with a little more ease, but there is still the anxiety. There is still the worrying and the pacing before pill time, there is still the pep talk, a running inner dialogue that needs to take place before game time, but I am still trying. And I will continue to try. It is not easy, and I know that lesser women have tried and failed.

By now it has been several weeks since I started taking my vitamin. And I would like to tell you that I have been successful, that I can now not only take my daily dose without almost choking to death. That I can do it with such an air of ease that I have forgotten why I have started this initial post. But alas, that is not the case. But I can tell you this... I have not defeated the vitamin, but I have defeated the process. A wise friend once told me to "work smarter, not harder!" So it was because of this anxiety that I went screaming to the computer in search of a better way. And I have found it... I have found it in the form of Flintstones Chewable Complete. I thought that Flintstone Vitamins were simply just for kids, but after doing some research and comparing labels--they are pretty much the same. So now not only will I get my daily vitamins, but they are also chewable and come in some "fun character shapes!" After all preventative maintenance is important. So don't forget to take your vitamins and by extension, don't forget to take your car in to change the oil!